Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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