I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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