# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
