The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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