idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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