you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Let's get the cat blown out
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
