I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
