no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
