i think my tv is drunk
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
