Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
