turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
