Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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