At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
