I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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