So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize