Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
