He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
