Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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