well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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