i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
two words...techno handjob
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
