is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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