i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
