We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
