Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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