Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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