Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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