Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
