Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize