why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
there is glitter all over my balls
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