what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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