Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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