dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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