You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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