Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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