I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
