Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
