fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
