I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Mom said you looked used
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
