xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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