My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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