i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
