I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
