I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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