Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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