Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
