So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There r osticjed everywhere
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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