What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
