i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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