do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
