Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm gonna have a badass scar
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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