he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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