so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
