Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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