Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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