I think my fart just growled at me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
