so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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