That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
