I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
