at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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