Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
