have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
