is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
