What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
