she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
